It's been a long time that I did not even realise the changes Xanga's made.

And changes in everybody else's, everything else. 

This cute guy is taken. =P

Always good to see changes.

The excitement when you see Gardens is now in Pyramid, the sadness you feel for Pancake House 'cause it's being replaced - and you used to dine there the day before your best friend leaves to the States, you see 'Coach' beside the main entrance and you go OH! COACH IS IN PYRAMID! A few trendy boutiques that you are yet to explore, Pork burger that you are yet to try out.

Oh, I Love.

New things are always so nice, so refreshing. It excites you.

When the sky turns dark and you are all alone, that is when you started to realise how much you've missed the old ones.

How much you miss having Pancake House so that your memories will always stay intact, how much you miss crying into the phone complaining about how stressful study life is just to hear the soft comforting voices of your parents, how much you miss carrying packets of chicken and tea that your friends/roommates have ordered when you're outside, how much you miss making birthday presents until late night just because you know the person will be pleased to see the prezzie, how much you miss having your dog running wild and licking your feet endlessly, how much you miss cuddling into mom's warmth while you tell her your stories, how much you miss fighting with your siblings over taking the front seat in the car, how much you miss telling your friends Aza aza Huaiting! when exams are near, how much you miss the skipping of heartbeat when he is around.

First week in qiao da. Cool people =)

Life goes on, life rewards you when you deserve it. As we are leaving behind every second, they might/might not become a piece of precious memory to you.

After all, we've all learned how to appreciate and give. Or are learning. Live every second like they are the end, and cherish them while you can.

Chak! Freeze time like this =D

I always dislike it when people take things for granted. Nobody's born to serve you, why can't we treat those who love and care for us in a nicer way? Heading towrards a new direction doesn't necessary equals to thrashing your old stuffs away, especially ones who care so much about you, ones who have stayed faithful with you all these while, like my steel ruler who has stayed with me for more than a decade. I'd be really sad if I lost it. Having the opportunity for brand new just means that now you decipher the essence which makes life perfect, and to treasure them.

Steel Ruler has been with me through all thick and thin exams, draws countless graphs, helps me to remember better of all the key points, scores 99 in Math for me, canceling stuffs i don't want, and dances around my fingers when I'm bored. Maybe I would not have been who I am today if it wasn't for Steel Ruler. Small things highlights significance. It makes me happy, and guide me through when I am lost and down.

I admit that it has been with me for too long that I sometimes even forgot about its existence.

Breakfast for ten, DIY, dear's house.

And search for it when I need it. Running high and low when I couldn't find it.

So typical of human's nature. We only start to realise and look for things/people, when we need them.

When Steel Ruler is nowhere to be seen, I messed up. I can't draw, I can't memorise, I can't delete.

Only then I realised its importance.

And I got frustrated because it just went missing. I am angry of Steel Ruler for hiding himself, I am angry of myself for losing it.

Changes is spelt here. They all looked hideous.

I know I am lucky, when Steel Ruler decides its way back to me. It has always been that faithful. I am treasuring it more than ever.

Would you think twice before you decide to lose it again?

Changes in me, yes, I did notice them.

Somehow I missed being the old self.

Don't want to be ridiculously childish, don't want to be over-sensitive over petty things.

The things I used to care about and put effort in, the habit I had of being sentimentally therapeutic - I think I had lost them.

Argh I want them back. 'Cause I missed making people happy.

It makes me feel like I exist.

It's always shower time when all these freakin' sentimental worldly sociology+psychology talk plays in own mind.

I figured I might as well blog in the rain of shower. Let the thoughts flow, baby.

Don't know why I always get oh-so-inspired/think-a-lot, especially on social cycles in the world right now, how the world's generally being shaped, what can I do about it, how am I ascertain of myself. And it's always during shower time. Haha.

Am more of a people person. Most of the stuffs I thought about, are about people.

Not gossips/their actions or whatever shit. But rather how people think, like when they are doing certain things, what was on their mind, or their intentions, feelings, and perhaps I've grown up with Fui that I started to analyse how people will feel about certain things, eg. actions I do which may produce certain effects/trigger some feelings on others. In other words, I started to care about what others will feel, especially about the words we utter. That is why, I've always chosen words carefully.

Life's always like a stage-by-stage game. You completed one stage, win or not, you proceed to another level. If you win, you upgrade yourself to a higher stage; otherwise you make a U-turn, or cross other possible paths. It's that simple. We were born, we went through childhood, kindergarten, primary school, secondary/high school, we've completed a number of stages since then. Life was guided along with the elders, teachers, siblings, seniors, friends - we need not think so much about next step we were going to take.

Right now, life seems so different that the guidance aren't so clear anymore. The boundaries are vague, too. It always seemed that there are so much possiblities for extension, and so vague at the same time. You don't know should you, or should you not, cross it. There are possibilities, but also risks to take. What might be, what might not be, often be the question.

To make it even scarier, you are now responsible for your own life. What you do right now will decide how you will turn up later. Ah. Shivering, isn't it?

Sometimes, am really envious of those who aren't as careful in their lives as we are. Just go with the heart, things will be in a flow. Don't frown. Life can't be that hard, isn't it?

Haha. However we live our lives, I'm pretty sure that there are always things to be rejoiced about. Life's always awesome. We might not get the best in life, or be in the best condition of all, yet we are capable of making the best out of every situation.

It is, being grateful, and learning to appreciate, is the hard one.

I have some dreams to be achieved which am pretty sure I will, someday. Maybe not right now where I do not have the opportunity to, but I believe I'm destined to see it in another way.

Anyway. A lil' updates about own life.

Second CA falls after new year. Sien. Meaning I don't get to count down to a whole year with a free heart this year. And studies are a bit slacking right now. Did quite well last CA despite the efforts I've thrown in, passed with distinction for 3, out of 4 subjects. Know I can be better, did not exactly do my best I guess. But considering the slacking condition I am in right now, I doubt I can do better. And like there is no end to the studying and memorising @@. The assignments which I dislike. Argh.

Just spent a lovely weekend with Love. Enjoyed the bond we've always shared. Always felt like the happily just married couple with you. Am so, so, comfortable with you around. That am not even embarrassed for you to dig my scary whole bunch of ear waxes! LOL. Will never forget your excitement when you look into my ears, laughing and running down to get all the digging equipments, then started your healer job like a professional, holding the torch with your mouth, focusing on the little hole which was full of disgusting yellow waxes. LOL. As you dug and plucked, I sat still, watching you - and there emerged the sense of, true happiness.

Though I seem pretty cautious that I kept remind you to be careful and not to quiver on any occassion, I knew, I put a hundred percent trust in you, believing that I will never be hurt with you around.

And you finished with a group of disgusting flappy looking dry waxes. Gave up on those deeper ones. We laughed, we kissed.

Will so miss those moments when you're not around.

Ah.  =)